Happiness is Community

As I sit in the D.F. airport, I find myself pondering the nature of happiness. This is due to the fact that I just finished reading Eric Weiner’s The Geography of Bliss. This insightful read has led me to reflect on my current experience in Oaxaca, all the while keeping happiness in mind.

The two months have certainly flown by, but I feel that I have created real roots here, which I believe is something inherent to bliss. Without roots, we lack community, trust, relationships; all of these essential elements to obtain felicity.

I have never been in a place for such a short time while meeting so many people. What took me six months to accomplish in Cádiz, Spain took a mere couple weeks in Oaxaca. I met locals, made friends and was able to somewhat break into the culture. This began thanks to previous connections, friends of friends, but quickly expanded into a different realm altogether.

But, why this differing reception from each host country? There exists the same language, similar ideas concerning family and community, both are tourist cities. Is it the differing cultural aspects intrinsic to each country? Are Oaxacans more open than their Gaditano counterparts? Or is it me? Does my love for Latin America make me more biased and therefore more open to Mexican culture, ultimately producing a reciprocal positive attitude amongst the people of Oaxaca? Or perhaps I have changed since my eight month sojourn in Cádiz.

I have noticed differences in myself within the past year. For starters, I find myself slightly more stressed, but peculiarly, less anxious of a person. The stress can clearly be attributed to work. When I was in Cádiz I had too much time on my hands, so now my free time I treasure much more. I’m not certain as to why I am less anxious, perhaps I am happier. I certainly feel quite happy.

I diverge, back to Oaxaca. I visited ruins and museums, tasted Tequila’s Oaxacan cousin, Mezcal, savored the melted quesillo and indulged in the many tortilla varieties (tacos, quesadillas, burritos, enchiladas, tlayudas etc.) Although these cultural definers are important to experience I’d say that the most essential element to a country, and further, a society, is the people. For what is a culture without the people who contribute to and preserve it?

Unlike Weiner, who takes the journalistic approach when meeting people from different countries, staying unbiased, distanced and avoiding engaging in deep friendships, I believe the best way to know a people is to engage in these profound relationships. Although we are all quite different, do we not all share the same instinctive traits that define us as social creatures?

My friends here are irreplaceable. One considers me his younger brother that he never had, another addresses me as carnal, the highest form of communicative endearment that a friend can bestow on another, others identify me as Mexican (or at least Latino) by heart or alma and another affectionately corrects my Spanish…constantly. Indeed, my friends define Oaxaca for me. It wouldn’t be the same without them.

I keep going back to an idea that Weiner elaborated on: “going native.” Have I gone native in this short time? I certainly look the part, as many of my Mexican friends and acquaintances are quick to point out. This is the first place where I have been mistaken numerous times as a local, by the locals! My favorite example was the time when I took a stroll the Zócalo, the main plaza, and I was handed a flyer and asked if I was interested in learning English. I must have been smiling for half an hour straight after this instance. I love everything about Oaxaca, am learning the local slang, and feel a little out of place in a group of foreigners. However, I feel that due to my wanderlust I am far from “going native,” although I would ascertain that I am quite close.